?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry


 I just got home from one of my morning Starbucks' get together with my good friend Kred and our conversation took an unexpected turn from office politics to relationships while I was finishing my cranberry juice. We had fun having these talks on what's happening with each of our seemingly mundane yet interesting lives that even my fate as an unattached individual will have its own entry.  He suggested examples on why I am always perceived as an inner beauty and why all of my love attempts proved to be futile in the end. Here's the official list:

1. .My idea of a great drinking session includes cases of San Mig Light and Red Horse Beer, Gran Matador Brandy and GSM Blue with my friend KJ's mom's infamous papaitan and Happy Peanuts. I am a fan of such drunkard lingos such as salubong, tanggero and tagayan. My tolerance for alcohol is so high that I can withstand countless tagays long after some guys do what we laughingly call as " nagpakain ng bibe" in our host's washroom. I have this anecdote wherein I had a crush with someone and we became good friends after an inuman session. The bad thing is that he loved my guts and my boyish ways and not on how I can be a good girlfriend material. He viewed me as an Inner Beauty  which I sportingly embraced after that.In fact, I will be attending another "patayan" inuman next month if God permits it. Looking forward to it.

2. I am a fan of such guy authors like Chuck Palahniuk ( who adores dark scenarios, twisted characters and sex), Haruki Murakami ( whose themes includes unrequited love, finding things that are not lost in the first place and self discovery. He was introduced to me by Kred a few years back), Nick Hornby ( his novels are full of guys humoring themselves by famous anecdotes of their lives while pining for happiness) and David Sedaris ( who is actually gay but likes to find humor with anything and everything especially his inadequacies). I love browsing through booksales and checking my favorite authors' creations (Too bad no Murakami though.That would be asking for too much since I got two of Hornby's works there). I can discuss literature with my friends who share my passion for hours and it will not tire me at all. That being said, I hate shallow topics like the latest trends or something on that line. This does not necessarily mean that I hate fashion. I like looking good. Its just that in my opinion, you should never talk about this for two whole hours without stopping.

3. I am a certified cinephile. You can expect my attendance in film festivals especially in Cinemalaya which I began attending four years ago. I adore indie films and the people who made these possible. I like writing movie reviews to praise award winning movies and how it affected my whole being. I love going through the DVD stores in Quiapo with my friends or even by myself ( our group calls this pagdadaga) and then happily go home armed with my purchased DVDs while mentally scheduling my marathons.  I hate guys who don't even understand the beauty of cinema and who can't seem to remember memorable films except perhaps the Shake Rattle and Roll Saga. Haha.

4. I am the epitome of the word cowboy and friends can attest to that. I can walk the streets of Quaipo and Recto without thinking on how hot the weather is or how dangerous it is to walk these venues at night. I like riding jeepneys beside the driver ( I even did this with my dude Lord ( I miss you pre!) wearing a knee length maong skirt. I won't mind if we will eat lunch at some of the filthiest places I've ever seen if you can attest that all of these are just exterior presentation. I can sleep on the floor or even in a big bed with other individuals since its the only place that we need to crash for the night after a crazy drinking session. I can trash talk like anything especially if I am rooting for a basketball team. I despise girls who croon like their lives depend on it.I'm still being called as Benjo, Dude, Pre and Men by my closest friends as their way of endearment.I am also kaladkarin. I enjoy unplanned gimiks or mallings. Don't get me wrong. I'm as straight as a pole. My longtime crushes includes Rafael Rosell and Dennis Trillo. I am smitten by so many Korean actors. I am just one of the boys.

5. This may sound like " nagbubuhat ako ng bangko" but I really am not. I climbed the corporate ladder successfully at an early age and I  was informed that some guys  were uneasy to court someone like me. Does this mean that their insecurity level is so high that they can't be happy for someone they want to pursue a relationship with? Sad. Backbone people. Backbone.

6. I adore Koreanovelas to the core that I want to visit Korea in the near future. Or maybe live their someday.  I like the cheesy lines and the adorable settings and all those in between. I even have K-Pop hits in my Ipod and cellphone.This may be irritating to an average guy who detest these soaps especially if the ones he can only tolerate are Sarah Geronimo's movies.

7. I can be very opinionated at times especially if it concerns something I strongly believe in. That includes serious topics like the upcoming elections or even my choice in the ongoing American Idol.

8. I hate guy things like online games ( especially if you spend almost half of your waking hours in front of your PC while trying to break your current top score like my brothers), beerhouses ( with my older brother stating that you're not a true guy if you don't frequent these places, or so he thought), movies with all out gore ( you state examples here) and talk about it afterwards while eating lunch.

9. I adore Jessica Zafra. I've been a fan of her angsty writings that often includes articles about her being a Ballbreaker and self worth anecdotes a decade ago. I can say that this inspired me. A LOT.

10. I am a writer and an aspiring screenwriter. I am in fact working on a script wherein a girl will not find a suitable guy but with her values and self worth still intact. Talk about girl power. Brilliant right?

These being said, you may conclude that I'm doomed to be alone. It is difficult to find some guy who can tolerate such things and love you with his whole heart. That I can embrace all the love for myself and my respect for my individuality alone. But who knows? Someone may be just around the corner. That right guy for a wrong girl like me who is also feeling like he is the wrong choice. When that time comes, I'll let you all know. 




Tags:

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
lorenz_adam
Feb. 24th, 2010 11:03 pm (UTC)
kulang ang title-
should be confessions of an Inner Beauty Queen!

Queen Bee!
jenibaneni
Feb. 25th, 2010 08:31 am (UTC)
#1 - hmm...marami kasi akong friends na malakas din uminom e, talo namin ung guys so i don't think it's not a problem, hehe. Unless you drink with your crush siguro. I only drink with friends e, and I don't date them, hehe

#2 - there are a lot of Murakami books sa booksale sa UP, I got almost all my treasures there, at half the price, hehe

#3 - ditto! i always love a movie junkie, you never run out of stuff to talk about :)

#4 - don't guys hate maarte girls? so you're on the right track mare ;)

#5 - dapat boss din ung idate mo mare, para masaya, hehe

#6 - koreanovelas are <3!

#7 - my faves: Lilly, Big Mike, Didi, Tim, Katelyn, Lee (in that particular order, but who knows, I might change my mind, haha)

#8 - Girls are supposed to hate online games and beerhouses, esp if istorbo yun sa quality time, hehe. On gore films, well, I love them, but I think most girls don't, hehe

#9 - i adore Jessica Zafra too! sayang lang she doesn't teach in UP e. they keep saying na she's a dropout pero they're very proud of her naman, haha

#10 - naks! pabasa mo samen mare, tapos ibigay mo sa abscbn para gawing teleserye or movie :)

Anyway, I don't think you're the wrong girl naman, it's just that you haven't met the right guy for you. I have a lot of guy friends who would go for someone like you. Dapat siguro mare sa UP ka tumambay, haha. Just kidding. Everyone's "weird" in their own way, and someone out there will love all the weirdness in you, hehe. That's what I used to tell myself.

So syempre comment galore ako, haha :D
pilikmata_riza
Feb. 26th, 2010 06:06 am (UTC)
Mga Kapatid :)
@ Lorenz- Gusto ko yang title na yan! Inangkin ko na ang pagiging Queen Bee ko haha.

@ Jen- Magbibigay ako ng comments sa mga comments mo haha.

#1 - hmm...marami kasi akong friends na malakas din uminom e, talo namin ung guys so i don't think it's not a problem, hehe. Unless you drink with your crush siguro. I only drink with friends e, and I don't date them, hehe ( Marami kasing mga lalaking hindi nakikita na gf material ang mga mas lalaki pa sa kanilang uminom. Pang pare material lang ang mga ganun for them. Bahala sila wala akong paki.:)

#2 - there are a lot of Murakami books sa booksale sa UP, I got almost all my treasures there, at half the price, hehe ( Talaga mare? Sige pupunta kami diyan ni Kred one time. I love Haruki sobra!)

#3 - ditto! i always love a movie junkie, you never run out of stuff to talk about :) ( Oo naman mare. Can't figure out bakit yung iba ayaw ng ganitong trip. Well to each its own.)

#4 - don't guys hate maarte girls? so you're on the right track mare ;) ( Most guys kasi from my family advised me to be more vulnerable last time na nagkita kita kami. I mean lahat ng gf nila crooner talaga. Ewan ko ba. Sabi ko I can't change the way I am. They need to live with it.)

#5 - dapat boss din ung idate mo mare, para masaya, hehe
( Sige mare go ako diyan. Basta cute saka may sense.)

#6 - koreanovelas are <3! ( I love Koreanovelas mare as in.)

#7 - my faves: Lilly, Big Mike, Didi, Tim, Katelyn, Lee (in that particular order, but who knows, I might change my mind, haha) ( My AI faves mare are mostly guys- Casey, Jermaine, Michael, Tondrick and Lee. )

#8 - Girls are supposed to hate online games and beerhouses, esp if istorbo yun sa quality time, hehe. On gore films, well, I love them, but I think most girls don't, hehe ( Okay naman sa akin ang kaunting gore pero huwag namang buong araw yun ang usapan diba haha)

#9 - i adore Jessica Zafra too! sayang lang she doesn't teach in UP e. they keep saying na she's a dropout pero they're very proud of her naman, haha ( Grabe I adore her too.)

#10 - naks! pabasa mo samen mare, tapos ibigay mo sa abscbn para gawing teleserye or movie :) ( Sige kapag natapos ko mare. Hopefully.:)

I think kung sino mang guy yung nakatakda sa akin, kung meron man, nakakatuwa siguro na makilala siya. I'll inform him kung saan ba siya nagsusuot before at ang tagal niya akong makita. Wrong guys lang talaga ang nakikita ko madalas kaya ganun.Sige ba kung may kakilala ka pakilala mo ako ha hehe.
jenibaneni
Feb. 26th, 2010 10:55 am (UTC)
Re: Mga Kapatid :)
Mare, I forgot to include Andrew Garcia sa faves ko, haha. Ampanget ng performances nila sa first night, tsk. Tsaka ung sa Booksale, sabihin mo kay Kred dun un banda sa AS walk, malapit sa AS 101 dati, ung dating Purple House. Di ko na alam tawag dun ngayon, ilang beses na pinalitan e, haha. Maraming hard to find dun. :)

Cge, pag may pwede ako ireto sayo sabihan kita, hehe :)
pilikmata_riza
Feb. 26th, 2010 11:17 am (UTC)
Re: Mga Kapatid :)
@ Jen- Kasama rin pala si Andrew sa mga gusto ko. :) Sige pupuntahan namin yang booksale na yan. Kapag meron kang irereto, let me know. Alam mo naman ang tipo ko diba? hehe
annika_mariel
Mar. 13th, 2010 04:40 am (UTC)
Ang aking komento
Mare! now ko lang nabasa ng entries mo.. at ito ang favorite ko.. naiingit ako kay Jen kaya must comment potah! (may mura dapat)

in order itey:

1. aminin mo na mare na isa ka talagang lalake na nagkatawang babae.. sus! haha seriously, ok lang yan.. ako nga hanggang 2 beer lang susuko na.. mas zushal kase may taste.. wahahaha! naku mare, wag naman maxado iinom with crush or fling, baka may mangyaring kyeme.. take it from me.. I SHOULD KNOW.. pero it turned out well naman.. at least for the time being.. :p

2. Hindi ako naka-relate sa mga librong binabasa mo.. so, mag-usap kayo ni Jen mga leche kayo.. hahaha.. hanggang sidney sheldon lang ako (as in, eyeluvhisnovelstalaga).. at tama yung sinabi mo, ang corny pag-usapan kung puro fashion lang, nonsense.. pwede yun mga 30 minutes then you can make okray people afterwards.. :)

3. Gusto ko din maexperience ang Quiapo get-away mo.. kaya lang maarte ako talaga so I leave it to you na lang.. :)

4. Ay naalala ko bigla din si Lord.. hahaha ay you forgot to mention akihiro sato.. ang cute nia.. pag nakikita ko cia sa TV, naalala kita kase naloka ka sa kanya (i think)

5. Ay reyna ka talaga mare.. Ikaw na maging AS at the age of 24! bihira ang ganyan kaya.. you stole kaya that crown from me.. wahahaha im so proud naging boss and friend kita.. :) hmm.. siguro nga insecure ang guys sa achievement mo.. don't worry, darating din "cia".. bakla ka kase.. hihi :p

6. may F4 songs ka pa ba sa ipod/cp mo mare? hehe sa post mo na to, ito lang masasabi ko.. hopeless romantic ka.. :p

7. **wala ako maisip na icomment** haha!

8. wag ka maghahanap ng gaya ni ChresLem (kase kay Jen na cia).. partner ko din yun sa mga gore movies.. bwahahaha!

9. mare, tinignan ko yung site ni Jessica Zafra dati, puno nga ng angst, pero magaling cia.. hindi ko na lang tinuloy basahin at mas trip ko talaga the "feel-good" blogs at mga links na kung ano ano.. :)

10. hmm.. nagsusulat ka pala ng story.. goodluck mare.. tas isubmit mo yan sa ABS/GMA o kaya sa youtube.. :)

"I'm doomed to be alone" -- GAGA KA.. yun lang.. so many fish in the sea mare.. at ittext naten silang lahat! hahaha

luvyou! :)

pilikmata_riza
Mar. 14th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
Re: Ang aking komento
Hahaha. I love your comments mare kaya I'll make comments din sa mga sinulat mo.:)


1. aminin mo na mare na isa ka talagang lalake na nagkatawang babae.. sus! haha seriously, ok lang yan.. ako nga hanggang 2 beer lang susuko na.. mas zushal kase may taste.. wahahaha! naku mare, wag naman maxado iinom with crush or fling, baka may mangyaring kyeme.. take it from me.. I SHOULD KNOW.. pero it turned out well naman.. at least for the time being.. :p ( 0o mare mukha nga talaga akong guy na nasa katauhan lang ng isang girl hehe. Seriously hindi ko rin magets kung bakit pang sunog baga ang pag inom ko hayyy. Yang pag inom with crush minsan lang nangyari yan.Saka kahit maglasingan kami I'm sure mas mauuna siyang matutulog sa akin kaya walang magaganap na you know what unless gusto ko hehe.)

2. Hindi ako naka-relate sa mga librong binabasa mo.. so, mag-usap kayo ni Jen mga leche kayo.. hahaha.. hanggang sidney sheldon lang ako (as in, eyeluvhisnovelstalaga).. at tama yung sinabi mo, ang corny pag-usapan kung puro fashion lang, nonsense.. pwede yun mga 30 minutes then you can make okray people afterwards.. :) ( True ka naman dun mare! Basahin mo rin ang mga books na yan kasi maaliw ka talaga.)

3. Gusto ko din maexperience ang Quiapo get-away mo.. kaya lang maarte ako talaga so I leave it to you na lang.. :) (Tara mag Quiapo tayo try mo ring mag DVD hunting ang saya!)

4. Ay naalala ko bigla din si Lord.. hahaha ay you forgot to mention akihiro sato.. ang cute nia.. pag nakikita ko cia sa TV, naalala kita kase naloka ka sa kanya (i think) ( Oo na inlove din ako kay Aki for a time pero si Dennis and Rafael talaga ang ultimate hehe.)

5. Ay reyna ka talaga mare.. Ikaw na maging AS at the age of 24! bihira ang ganyan kaya.. you stole kaya that crown from me.. wahahaha im so proud naging boss and friend kita.. :) hmm.. siguro nga insecure ang guys sa achievement mo.. don't worry, darating din "cia".. bakla ka kase.. hihi :p ( Haha. Ang opinyon ko lang dito mare, kung gusto ka naman ng guy walang makakapigil sa kanyang i pursue ka kahit ikaw pa ang boss ng boss niya. Thanks sa inyo mare kasi I won't achieved that naman without all of your guys help din. Walang biro.Love you!)

6. may F4 songs ka pa ba sa ipod/cp mo mare? hehe sa post mo na to, ito lang masasabi ko.. hopeless romantic ka.. :p
( Sobrang hopeless romantic ko na mare. Naaadik na ako sa Koreanovelas kasi parang ang saya saya lang.:) Alam ko naman na malayung malayo siya sa tunay na buhay kaya lang ang sarap lang gawing diversion.)

7. **wala ako maisip na icomment** haha! ( At times lang naman ako opinionated hehe.Alam mo naman ako generally mabait lang ako.)

8. wag ka maghahanap ng gaya ni ChresLem (kase kay Jen na cia).. partner ko din yun sa mga gore movies.. bwahahaha!
( Haha. Alam mo naman ang mga tipo ko mare. Pero feeling ko rin magiging okay sa akin kung auman siya basta ba mahal ko saka pogi haha.O diba hopeless romantic ako talaga.)

9. mare, tinignan ko yung site ni Jessica Zafra dati, puno nga ng angst, pero magaling cia.. hindi ko na lang tinuloy basahin at mas trip ko talaga the "feel-good" blogs at mga links na kung ano ano.. :) ( Korek. Ang tagal ko nang binabasa si Jessica Zafra. Sabi nga ni Kred kaya daw ako ganito kasi idol ko si JZ e.)

10. hmm.. nagsusulat ka pala ng story.. goodluck mare.. tas isubmit mo yan sa ABS/GMA o kaya sa youtube.. :) ( Yes mare I am trying to do it kaya lang paputol putol kasi kailangan ng inspiration. Kung hindi script baka book na lang. Pabasa ko sa inyo pag natapos ko.)

"I'm doomed to be alone" -- GAGA KA.. yun lang.. so many fish in the sea mare.. at ittext naten silang lahat! hahaha ( Kung sino man siya, tatanungin ko siya pag nagkita kami ng- Saan ka ba nanggaling lupalop at ngayon mo lang ako nahanap?)

luvyou! :) (Love you too mare! See you later sa Alltel Party!)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )