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Comfortably Unwell

Just to set the record straight. This entry is written a few weeks later than intended.

I've been feeling out of sorts for some time now without even realizing that I've become comfortable with it. I've been going to work fully aware of my mundane existence without resenting the act because I've resigned in trying to think of ways on how to liven up my days. I've become accustomed to my sleep/internet/get ready for work/sleep kind of routine everyday because it is better than being unemployed. I work because I am being compensated to do it. I  have pseudo crushes now and then because I try to add meaning to my so called quarterlife only to find myself dissapointed in the end. With the guy or with myself or both, that I am really unsure. I know this might sound negative or downright numb to anyone. I am also unsure if this brand new attitude is healthy or not.

I am just rather surprised because I am still longing to turn back time even if it will never happen. Not in a million years. On how some pictures make me resent the way things are planned from the very beginning. On why I need to be here right now even if God knows that I was genuinely happy there.  God knows I'm trying my best to live my life one day at a time and hundreds of Koreanovelas or K Pop videos won't  give me the happiness I am longing for.

My agent said that he will introduce me to his Korean friend. It is funny on how everyone is trying to set me up nowadays. So be it. Who knows what will happen right? It might be a great and different entry altogether. What the F. Here I am again. Trying to find ways. Haha.

Or maybe I'm just down right now because its that time of the month. These are my hormones talking. Not me. Whatever.



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